More of these then.
1. INTRO: Business news. After over ten years, Orange have finally ended
their popular Orange Wednesdays deal that let customers get half
price cinema tickets. Popular with young Orange users, and
anyone who knew anyone on Orange, the deal will be missed by
many. But what’s going to replace it? Well, the company has been
having internal talks about that already. Here’s what they’ve come
2. BOSS: Right then team. We’re not doing half price cinema tickets
anymore. But we still need to attract young people. What can we
3. EMPLOYEE1: How about half price meat at the butchers? Young people love
4. BOSS: No, we don’t want to offend vegetarians. We need something cool
5. EMPLOYEE2: How about knives! They’re cool AND edgy, Half price knives on
6. BOSS: Hmm, that’s not bad. I love the edginess. But are young people
really still buying knives?
7. EMPLOYEE1: Knives are SO 2009. That’s why I’m saying meat! Meat is classic,
and timeless. Plus people buy meat a lot more often than they buy
8. EMPLOYEE2: Yeah but think about it. How are they going to cut up their meat
9. EMPLOYEE1: Nobody buys a new knife every time they need to cut up some
10. EMPLOYEE2: Exactly! We’re trying to start a new trend here. Imagine the ads:
“Orange Wednesdays. Knives for you and a friend. For all your
meat cutting needs.”
11. BOSS: Guys, I think we need to stay away from the whole meat and
cutting angle. It’s not really on-brand.
12. EMPLOYEE1: Hmmm. How about tofu?
13. BOSS: Tofu?
14. EMPLOYEE1: Yeah, it’s like a meat substitute. Plus I think it looks kind of
Orange. So we can play around with that angle.
15. EMPLOYEE2: Plus you need knives to eat it!
16. BOSS: Well, I don’t like it….but I don’t see what other choice we have.
Get working on those ads right away.
17. AD VOICEOVER: ORANGE WEDNESDAYS. HALF PRICE MEAT SUBSTITUTES
AVAILABLE TO ORANGE USERS ONLY ON WEDNESDAYS
PLUS YOU CAN ALSO BUY KNIVES TOO IF YOU NEED SOME.
18. BOSS: Ok, everyone is fired.
AD: COLOUR CHANGING TORY
1. V/O: Is it blue? Or is it purple and yellow? Wow your friends with the
viral sensation that’s sweeping Westminster – the colour changing
Watch with amazement as your constituency MP changes colour
right before your eyes, and then defects right back again
afterwards. How does it work? Nobody knows.
2. TESTIMONIAL: We voted for the local Tory MP thinking he stood for a traditional
conservative approach to taxation. But then suddenly one day we
turned on the telly and he going on about immigration and things.
We still can’t explain it!
3. V/O: Colour changing Tories are available in all marginal constituencies
and tax havens.
(Warning: May cause racial intolerance and fascist tendencies)