(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)
We’re almost at the end of February 2016, babies! That means we’re basically 2/12 through the year! Or 1/6! or 4/24! Or LITERALLY ANY OTHER FRACTION OF AN EQUIVALENT AMOUNT. The possibilities are endless, and so our are dreams.
Speaking of dreams, let’s get right to this thing. BECAUSE IT’S SO DREAMY I GUESS?!?!
February 20th: Love Your Pet Day
Now, this one is kind of hard to prove. But I do love my pets. And I continued to do so on February 20th. Don’t try and call me out on this one – it’s not a cop out. It’s just the best I can do. Look, here’s even a photo of me loving a pet! (Not taken on February 20th, but what it represents is what counts).
100% pure, true love right there. (This dog doesn’t actually love me back btw, but that’s because he’s a BAD DOG). Bad dog!
February 21st: Single Tasking Day
Here are the single tasks I did on February 21st:
- I woke up.
- I ate a whole load of brioche.
- I made some coffee.
- I did some writing. (Sketches that never actually got used anywhere in the end).
- Like a hundred other things you don’t need to hear about.
Basically, I did try to deliberately only do one thing at a time. I have a bad habit of trying to do loads at once – brewing that coffee while loading the dishwasher between thinking up things to write about and picking something to listen to and checking Twitter at the same time. So just doing one thing at once was a challenge for me.
Hell, even just closing Tweetdeck was difficult. I found myself reopening it out of habit. Am I addicted to social media?! Am I a mediaholic? AM I ADDICTED TO MEDIAHOL?
February 22nd: Be Humble Day
I’m SO good at being humble that I even dressed humbly:
— Richard Cook 🎂 (@cookywook) February 22, 2016
Yup, all grey outfit, AKA the most neutral and humble colour. And look at that bowed head. Is that the ultimate in humility? I think it is!
I just mean, damn. I think I deserve a bloody medal for how humble I was.
February 23rd: Banana Bread Day
Mostly spent the day reciting this:
Also, it turns out finding banana bread last minute in Cambridge is NO EASY FEAT. However, I knew of a cheat. There’s a BANANA BREAD BEER that I really like. I drink it loads and would recommend it.
So, on my way home I popped into my local beer shop. They didn’t have it. I ended up buying some wacky new beers though, including a weird Bramley-apple one from Beavertown. So I had to walk all the way to Asda which is basically hella outta my way.
There, I managed to find not only the Banana Bread Beer but also some Mr Kipling Banana Milkshake Slices. Yup, Asda sell every kind of bread you can imagine except banana, and do sell the weirdest cake slice ever. Here’s the lot –
— Richard Cook 🎂 (@cookywook) February 23, 2016
February 24th: Inconvenience Yourself Day
This one just kinda happened. I was planning on taking a stupidly long route to work or something, but I was running late so had to can that idea. Also, after the long detour I had taken home the day before, it felt a bit stupid to do that.
However, due to being a bad person at planning my own life, I ended up inconveniencing myself anyway! I booked a reservation at a restaurant about 5 doors down from my office, but for an hour and a half after work finished. So that meant I ended up hanging around at work for 90 minutes just doing nothing.
Sure, I could have just gone home and gone back to the restaurant at the right time. But pfffffffftttt, I’m committed to doing this year thing properly ain’t I! Also, the dinner was great.
February 25th: Introduce A Girl To Engineering Day
A commenter on my last blog post said that this day sounded a bit sexist. I disagree. Anything to even out the gender imbalance in science/engineering sounds like a good thing to me.
Just take the hilarious news this week that EDF Energy held a competition for girls in tech and gave first place to a boy. I mean, lol, right? (Side note; do check out that site – Gadgette – doing good work to promote women in technology and all kinds of wonderfulness).
Here’s what I ended up doing (THANKS OLIVIA FOR BEING A GOOD SPORT).
— Richard Cook 🎂 (@cookywook) February 25, 2016
Eagle-eyed readers might notice that I wasn’t able to fully explain to Olivia what the impliciations of the minimum flow required by a pump are. That’s because I don’t know. The day is, and I want to stress this strongly, INTRODUCE a girl to engineering day. I consider that work done.
Like if the day was ‘introduce a stranger to your Mother day’ I wouldn’t have to then field any and all questions from the stranger about Mother. I’d just be like ‘yo goober, check out Linda she’s awesome, ok have fun bye!’. That’s literally what I’ve done above.
You’re welcome, all women everywhere.
February 26th: Pistachio Day
GOT SOME NUTS.
— Richard Cook 🎂 (@cookywook) February 26, 2016
Turns out that pistachios get pretty hard going after about 20. Also, they’ll probably mess up your finger tips if you’re manually cracking them open. Why do we still consider this an acceptable way of eating food?
AND THAT’S IT !!!!!!
COMING UP NEXT WEEK:
- February 27th: Kahlua Day
- February 28th: Tooth Fairy Day
- February 29th: Bachelor’s Day
- March 1st: World Compliment Day
- March 2nd: Banana Cream Pie Day
- March 3rd: Mulled Wine Day
- March 4th: Day Of Unplugging
Some fun stuff to look forward to there, ESPECIALLY Kahlua Day. In fact, that just so happens to be tonight. WHITE RUSSIANS ALL ROUND (FOR ME!).
ps. So the agency emailed me to ask if the electricity was still tripping. I was all like ‘yeah lol and where’s the fridge I was promised a month ago.’ A few emails later and it was clear they were useless and incompetent. Cue the greatest rant email I’ve ever written.
Yup, 845 words of hot Richard complaint, including a full review of every email I’ve sent and received for four months and a complete sarcastic summary. Take THAT, agency drone!
I am now also actively pursuing alternative living arrangements. More to follow.