Category Archives: richard’s 2016

#Richards2016 is my greatest ever failure and I’m a bad person

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Guys, I give up. It’s all over. I’ve failed and I’ve let you down and I’ve let myself down and I’m sorry I guess. As much as it pains me to type this, #Richards2016 is no more.

Why? Well, here’s just a couple of the main reasons:

  • Lack of interest

    It turns out that not many people care about my antics! My blog views were pretty low, like single-digits sometimes, and it’s just not worth my effort to try to appeal to such a small audience.
    Also, absolutely no interest from any publishers whatsoever. However, there are an infinite number of non-books coming out from every ‘lifestyle blogger’ ever right now, so I’d imagine they’re busy with those instead. Granted, I never actually approached any publishers, but I was kinda hoping this thing would blow up and they’d come to me. (Like, did Mr Get In The Sea Man pitch his Twitter account to publishers? How exactly did that work?).

  • Lack of effort, on my part

    Committing to doing something every day, no matter how small, is a bigger challenge than it sounds. If you’ve ever tried to do one of those ‘take a picture of yourself every day for a year’ challenges, then you’ll know just what I mean. It sounds like the easiest thing ever, but you’ve got to remember to do it, actually have the time to do it, and commit to it no matter what comes up in your life.

    So saying I’d do the day every day was becoming a mental strain. I’d often forget to do it on the day until really late in the evening, and my post quality suffered as a result. I was just drawing pictures, or taking a photo of me doing something, and that’s not what this life project was meant to be about. There were even times when I’d forget entirely and have to retrospectively retcon my day into something related, desperately picking one of the days that fit the best.

  • Life happens

    The project started falling apart when I took a short trip in April for a stag do. When you’re on a holiday, of any kind, you don’t really want to be thinking about work – and work is essentially what this project was becoming. And, especially with the kind of trip I was on, you’re not always fully in control of what you’re up to. So during this trips, I had to put the project on hold, thereby compromising my fundamental promise to do the day, every day.

    Since then I’ve been to New York twice, Stockholm once, like three weddings, and various other breaks, visits, and diversions. I even moved house, which is pretty much the most time-consuming thing you can do, and has been my focus for around a solid month.

  • Fatigue

    Last, but not least, I’d say that I simply grew tired of the project. It wasn’t fun anymore. So many of the days were just me eating a cake, or drawing an animal. I swear a couple of days got repeated too. I resorted to simply paying money on some charity days – which of course isn’t a bad thing in itself – but it was essentially just me paying to not have to do anything more substantial. Plus it was starting to add up.

So yeah, I’m done. It’s over. I hope you enjoyed reading it. I’d say I managed to last six months, but I really haven’t been doing anything for a good month now. Sorry.

Not to end on a downer, here’s some highlights!

I submitted a silly Freedom of Information request about books and now I feel bad

Relive the excitement yourself with the #Richards2016 hashtag on twitter dot com.

Cheers,

cookywook

Richard’s 2016: Week 24

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Hello. Another week then. Coming up to six months shortly. Maybe I’ll try and do something special for that. But knowing my luck (and levels of effort at this point), I probably won’t. Still, stay tuned.

 June 11th: Corn on the Cob Day

Not just corn, but a whole meal of wonderful food. Not actually cooked by me, but I sort of assisted in its production (rubbing butter on the corn), so it still counts.

June 12th: Red Rose Day

So. I’m going to do a full blog post on this later (probably tomorrow), but I did a sort of… photoshoot. Roses were involved. As was milk. Here’s a snippet for your eyes to enjoy.

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See, there’s a rose in there! More to follow.

June 13th: Sewing Machine Day

There was no way I was going to be able to do this, was I? So I borrowed a day from fellow-daysman Toby.

Look at him work that sewing machine! Powerful stuff.

June 14th: World Blood Donor Day

So, I recently became a certified platelets donor. It’s like a more hardcore version of being a blood donor because it takes longer. Yup, a further 90 minutes of having an uncomfortably thick needle lodged in your arm. But I haven’t actually had a go at donating  any yet.

So I tried to book an appointment on this day for my first platelet donation. But it’s tricky. Because it takes so long, it means it has to start at least 90 minutes before they shut. But they shut at like 7. I finish work at 6. You can see the issue. So we’re currently trying to figure out what to do about this.

I’ve got some sort of appointment in a few weeks. That’s good enough for me, and all this faff is surely enough to fill the requirements of Blood Donor Day.

Also, GIVE BLOOD.

June 15th: Smile Power Day

Don’t ever say I don’t smile.

June 16th: Fresh Veggies Day

The logic checks out. I order the same thing from Subway everytime:

Steak and Cheese. Toasted. Plus onions, lettuce, peppers, olives, and jalapenos. I call it ‘The Richard’ and it’s the greatest. AND it’s full of fresh vegetables. YUM.

June 17th: Eat Your Vegetables Day

Two vegetables days in a row?! Why, I oughta…

Anyway, I had a delicious lamb kofte wrap from Merhaba. Yum again.


COMING UP

  • June 18th: Splurge Day
  • June 19th: World Sickle Cell Awareness Day
  • June 20th: American Eagle Day
  • June 21st: Cherry Tart Day
  • June 22nd: Onion Rings Day
  • June 23rd: Public Service Day
  • June 24th: Take Your Dog to Work Day

NICE. See you then, friends.

Richard’s 2016: Weeks 22 & 23

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Right, so I know I said I wouldn’t do any more double weeks. But here we are. I really just need to stop leaving the country so often. Anyway, here’s what my life has been about.

May 28th: Hamburger Day

For the second time this year, I was out on a stag do. Oy oyyy! Thankfully we passed through a restaurant (Jamie’s Italian), and I managed to grab a burger. I’d describe it “as more or less ok.”

SIDE NOTE OF FUN

At one point of the evening, we ended up in some wine bar. There, we found the funniest book of all time.
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MICHAEL JACKSON: BEER HUNTER.

May 29th: Biscuit Day

I was born to do this.

May 30th – June 4th: ?????

Yeah this is when I was in Sweden on a work trip. WHO EVEN KNOWS if I did my days out there? You can’t prove I didn’t. Anyway, to make up for that, here are some assorted photos of what I was getting up to. Maybe you can piece together some sort of exciting adventure story from them.2016-06-02 17.59.41

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Basically lots of fun and busyness.

June 5th: Environment Day

I LIVE IN THE ENVIRONMENT LOOOOOLLLLL

June 6th: Yo-Yo Day

Yeah, that’s me with a yo-yo in bed. I often yo-yo in bed. It helps me think.

June 7th: Chocolate Ice Cream Day

ANOTHER ONE IN THE BANK.

Someone tried to argue that a Magnum isn’t a chocolate ice cream – it’s actually a vanilla ice cream with a chocolate shell. But NAH, the shell is still ice cream. It’s all ice cream, baby!

June 8th: Best Friends Day

Went out to Pizza Express with some of my best mates! Here is one: Mr Rorey Jones of Atlanta, Georgia.

I know it says selfie, but just ignore that. It’s obviously not me.

June 9th: Jerky Day

I was a bit of a jerk to people? Like I had a go at my workmate’s t-shirt, when actually I thought it was ok. That kinda thing. A lot of people didn’t notice though???

June 10th: Ball Point Pen Day

Seriously, who invented these things? They are literally the worst.

OK THAT’S IT. I think we may have hit a new low over the past fortnight. But I guess that means the only way is UP? Hell yeah baby.


Coming up:

  • June 11th: Corn on the Cob Day
  • June 12th: Loving Day
  • June 13th: Sewing Machine Day
  • June 14th: World Blood Donor Day
  • June 15th: Smile Power Day
  • June 16th: Fresh Veggies Day
  • June 17th: Apple Strudel Day

See you in the future!

Richard’s 2016: Week 21

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Hey again! Back to a single post (phew!). All those double posts were such a drag.

HERES WHAT I HAVE DONE WITH MY LIFE.

May 21st: Rapture Party Day

As well you know, the rapture did not happen last week. Sorry guys, but it just don’t look like it’s coming any time soon either. Thus, having a ‘rapture party’ isn’t really a thing that’s possible to do. But I did something close enough.

Cambridge Foodpark is a collective of street food traders, who get together in various spots around the city to sell delicious things. In the summer months they do these little night park things. On Saturday, this was out in a barn some ways out of the town centre. There was music, dancing, and the hottest chicken wings I’ve had in months.

It felt like a little secret end-of-the-world rave. So I’m calling this one: CLOSE ENOUGH.

May 22nd: Sherlock Holmes Day

Turns out I basically dress as Sherlock Holmes all the time anyway! Though I think my pro-gaming PC chair in the background spoils this just a bit.

May 23rd: Turtle Day

It looks like I’ve started my own tradition of just drawing animals on animal-related days. So here’s a FANCY TURTLE

YES HE’S WEARING A CANE AND TOP HAT. HE IS THE FANCIEST OF TURTLES.

May 24th: Brother’s Day

Yeah, this counts. I think you’re allowed to just be someone’s brother. Anyway, shut up.

(That’s my sister, btw).

May 25th: Tap Dancing Day

I was at a wedding. The PERFECT place to tap my feets.

Yeah I know you can’t see a thing. It was a dark wedding, ok? But yes, I’m doing my best to tap along to some S Club. Don’t judge me.

May 26th: World Lindy Hop Day

So. I didn’t actually dance the lindy hop.

Because I was at a Beer Festival.

Beer has hops in it.

Therefore.

I’m calling this barely acceptable. Again, shut up.

May 27th: Cellophane Tape Day

Ah, cellophane tape. AKA cellotape lol. Anyway, here I am with a phone taped to my face like an idiot.

Like that? Here’s another.

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DON’T TRY THIS AT HOME. It hurts and makes you look stupid.


So, what’s coming up in the next seven days?

  • May 28th: Hamburger Day
  • May 29th: Biscuit Day
  • May 30th: Loomis Day
  • May 31st: No Tobacco Day
  • June 1st: Say Something Nice Day
  • June 2nd: Rocky Road Day
  • June 3rd: Chimborazo Day

NOTE: I’m away on a work trip most of next week. So if I’m not able to do something good for – say, ‘Chimborazo Day’ (???) – then I apologise in advance.

Richard’s 2016: Weeks 19 and 20

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Hey, it’s yet ANOTHER double-post. OMG what’s wrong with me? Well, last weekend I was in Norfolk, just generally having a look around and getting lost in rape fields and nearly succumbing to hayfever. So this week you get two-for-one. Lucky you. Here’s what I was doing.

May 7th: Join Hands Day

I was at the Boring Conference with Mother that weekend. It was very good and boring. So I took the chance to hold hands with my literal favourite mother.

D’awww.

May 8th: Lemonade Day

YES I KNOW IT SAYS LARGER. AS IN LARGER THAN A SMALL SHANDY OK.

May 9th: Moscato Day

Had real trouble finding a genuine Moscato wine (thanks a lot, M&S Food), but I did find this delightful pudding wine:

It’s from the Muscat region, which just about makes it Moscato imo. Also it came in a hilariously small plastic bottle. Perfect for smuggling into gigs, etc.???

May 10th: World Lupus Day

Copped out again and just donated some money to charity. I say ‘copped out’, but really I think constantly donating money out of my own pocket is a harder thing to do than all the other stuff I just do for free. This blog doesn’t make any money for me, remember (in fact, it’s costing me a pretty penny in hosting fees, etc.) so I see no shame in coughing up dough from time to time.

Maybe give some money yourself, too?

May 11th: Root Canal Appreciation Day

So yeah, I took a moment to appreciate the many many root canals I’ve had to have for various reasons. Would I recommend getting one? NO. Unless like a dentist says you should have one or something (then YES). But if you’re just thinking of getting one on a whim – DON’T.

I was gonna upload an icky pic of me pointing at my root canal-ed tooth, but there’s not really much to see. A while back they drilled the remaining peg of a tooth down to a little stump and put a ceramic cap on it. It was disgusting and expensive, but now looks like a perfectly ordinary tooth so that’s fine.

May 12th: Nutty Fudge Day

I returned to the M&S Food that had previously let me down and managed to get my hands on some actual nutty fudge! At first I thought they wouldn’t have any, as I desperately scanned the chocolate aisle for anything containing fudge – but then I turned the corner and found they had a whole FUDGE AISLE and it was beautiful.

Pecans in fudge is a great shout.

May 13th: Blame Someone Else Day

I didn’t manage to do anything for this day. But since it’s “blame someone else day” I blame Olivia for dragging me out to Norfolk hahahaha.

(Not meaning to imply I didn’t enjoy Norfolk, ofc).

May 14th: Chicken Dance Day

For some reason, this vine is broken and you can’t see my bit of the chicken dance. I can promise that it’s very entertaining though. Maybe you’ll enjoy just hearing my chicken sounds though… If you want to come over and watch the original version on my phone, you’re very welcome.

May 15th: Straw Hat Day

I personally think this is a very good look for me.

Why the suit? I was off to a formal dinner at my old college. In retrospect, maybe I should have kept the hat on.

May 16th: Accounting Day

Right now in my life I’m facing a lot of complicated accounting and tax issues. I won’t go into them but they’re very big and scary. So on the 16th I took some time to run the numbers again and frighten myself half to death. Remind me not to do that anymore.

May 17th: Telecommunications Day

Presented without comment.

May 18th: No Dirty Dishes Day

Enjoy this timelapse of me doing dishes, created using the magic of TECHNOLOGY.

What you can’t see is the bit where I tried to clean the underside of a pot and sprayed water all over myself. Ah, the eternal sunshine of the timelapsed life.

May 19th: Notebook Day

I picked this specific page in my notebook because it contains some old workings in quantified logic and makes me look a lot smarter than I am.

Also on this day I went to a gig in Cambridge and McCauley Culkin was there. That’s not really relevant to this, but I thought it was cool.

May 20th: Bike to Work Day

I didn’t bother getting a photo of this, but you can probably imagine what it looks like. If not, just come and hang out at my work sometime.

AND THAT’S IT.


Coming up….

  • May 21st: Rapture Party Day
  • May 22nd: Sherlock Holmes Day
  • May 23rd: Turtle Day
  • May 24th: Escargot Day
  • May 25th: Towel Day
  • May 26th: World Lindy Hop Day
  • May 27th: Cellophane Tape Day

See you next week! Or maybe in two! WHO KNOWS?!?!?!

Richard’s 2016: Week 18

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Back to usual single-week posting for now. Here we go!

April 30th: Honesty Day

*thought.

Yeah, I mean it was ok. Spiderman and Ant-Man were great it in. But it did feel like it was all shot in a multi-storey carpark over one weekend. It didn’t wow me like The Avengers did. (To be honest, even Age of Ultron was a bit meh..)

May 1st: Mother Goose Day

Video time!

Turns out Mother Goose poems suck! Lol.

May 2nd: Baby Day

This one is two videos, and requires a bit of explaining. It’s probably simplest if you just go here. Unfortunately, I can’t embed a YoutubeDoubler experience, so if you don’t wanna go to that link for whatever reason, here’s the videos:

What you have to do, then, is play the top video MUTED, whilst playing the second video with the sound on. So basically you’re getting an alternate audio track for the second one.

The Godspeed track should start around 42 minutes in. But you can start it anywhere really. It’s just meant to be a bit creepy.

Ok guys, I just tried again and it’s almost worth keeping the first audio ON just so you get the creepy baby cries and discordant piano. Give it a few tries and see what works.

So yeah, happy baby day!

May 3rd: World Asthma Day

I’ve had some complaints about this one, but I’ll present it exactly as it occurred.

So here I’m leveraging my hayfever for content for world asthma day. Now, I’m not saying that hayfever and asthma are the same thing by any means, though they are both RESPIRATORY IN NATURE. I’m just throwing out some solidarity to my heavy breathing bros. Respec’ to y’all!

And no, I don’t have asthma. And sure, maybe this is some kind of respiratory condition appropriation that I have failed to check my non-asthmatic privilege on before engaging with. BUT I DIDN’T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO, OK?

May 4th: Star Wars Day

because may the forth sounds like may the force do you get it do you get the star wars reference.

But basically I just did a load of stuff for work so I’ll share a bit of that here.

May 5th: Cartoonist’s Day

It’s a crime that Gary Larson isn’t better known in this country, or really even anywhere at all really. He’s shaped my quote-unquote sense of humour probably more than anyone else, leading to a brief period where I used to do little cartoon drawings myself. Basically, he’s the greatest and the least you should do is follow that Twitter account above.

And here’s a selected cartoon for you to enjoy now.

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SO MUCH ABOUT THIS IS FUNNY.

May 6th: No Diet Day

This has strong Butterfield echoes.

Unfortunately I couldn’t get my hands on any hoisin crispy owl. Instead, I just stuffed my face at work.

AND THAT’S YER LOT. BRB, WATCHING ALL THE BUTTERFIELD VIDEOS AGAIN.


Coming up:

  • May 7th: Join Hands Day
  • May 8th: Lemonade Day
  • May 9th: Moscato Day
  • May 10th: World Lupus Day
  • May 11th: Root Canal Appreciation Day
  • May 12th: Nutty Fudge Day
  • May 13th: International Hummus Day

See ya then!

Richard’s 2016: Weeks 16 & 17

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Yep, another two-in-one! And again, it’s because I was away for a week and wasn’t really able to do a write up. (Well, technically I was back last Saturday, but I was JET LAGGED as hell and barely even knew what day it was).

Anyway, here’s what I’ve been doing.

April 16th: Eggs Benedict Day

Did a DIY eggs benedict.

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It was pretty easy and yummy. Though I don’t really like hollandaise sauce. NOT GONNA STOP ME THO.

April 17th: Ford Mustang Day

Ok so this is the day I was travelling to America. Give me some slack.

Yup, SOMEWHERE in that photo is surely a Ford Mustang. Points to anyone who can spot it. I couldn’t see it myself as I was busy being up the TALLEST TOWER IN THE WESTERN HEMISPHERE. Having just got out of my bed in Cambridge a mere 15 hours before or so.

April 18th: Columnists Day

Dug up this old piece I wrote about how columns are terrible mostly. READ IT AGAIN NOW.

April 19th: Hanging Out Day

Hanging out is what I do best! I do it most of the time really.

Yup, I celebrated by standing in a queue in NYC for 45 minutes for a delicious burger-fries-shake combo. Was it worth the wait? HELL YES it was worth the wait. They make their shakes with a custard base and I mean what else do I have to say.

April 20th: Volunteer Recognition Day

The reason I was in New York at all was for some work thing. I can’t really go into what it was for, but it did involve me interacting with some volunteers. Seriously.

So you’ll just have to take my word for it that this day was fulfilled.

April 21st: Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day

This is a statement of fact rather than any obligation on myself. I guess I sort of agree?

April 22nd: Jelly Bean Day

LICORICE BEANS CONFIRMED FOR WORST
CANDY FLOSS AND BUTTERED POPCORN CONFIRMED FOR BEST

April 23rd: Shakespeare Day

First, I landed in the UK at about 8am. Then I actually got home at about 12pm. Then I slept until around 5pm. Then… I went and watched some bloody Shakespeare!!!!

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It was good and my housemate was in it and there was a DOG IN IT WEARING A SHAKESPEARE RUFF. Then I fell asleep for 13 hours.

April 24th: Pinhole Camera Day

Does that look good? I dont think it looks good.

To be fair, I could have maybe like built a pinhole camera or something. But I didn’t. So there we go.

April 25th: DNA Day (again)

I swear we had this already. I recall running around town trying to find Eagle DNA beer. No matter. Classic opportunity to reuse some content.

April 26th: Help a Horse Day

In the absence of any horses of my own to help, I donated some money so other people could do it for me.

April 27th: Guide Dog Day

I wasn’t sure what to do for this, and I didn’t want to just donate money again.

SO, I thought laterally and booted up Fallout 4. There, I went to found my trusty dog friend Dogmeat and let HIM guide me around the Wasteland. NOTE: I recorded full commentary for this video but it didn’t actually record, so I was just talking to myself out loud in my room for no reason haha.

Bloody dog actually does very little to guide me around. But he does an ok job at attacking some bandits. Good boy.

April 28th: Thankful Thursday

Cheers, guys!

April 29th: International Dance Day

It me. Doing a merry jig along with Jools Holland.


Phew. How do we feel about this double format by the way? Good? Bad? Indifferent? I might switch to this permanently, I dunno.

Or, I might just give up on the project altogether. We’ll have to see.

COMING UP:

  • April 30th: Honesty Day
  • May 1st: Mother Goose Day
  • May 2nd: Baby Day
  • May 3rd: World Asthma Day
  • May 4th: Star Wars Day
  • May 5th: Cartoonists Day
  • May 6th: No Diet Day

Ugh. Well, wish me luck!

Richard’s 2016: Weeks 14 & 15

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Yup, this is a bumper edition of Richard’s 2016 – two weeks in one! The reason for this is that I went on a small trip during week 14 which meant I didn’t really have time to write up what I’ve been doing.

What are the implications on the project? We’ll get to that. But first, the days!

April 2nd: Tangible Karma Day

Karma is all about doing good for the universe right? What better way to give back to the world then by educating them about how to look and feel good? YUP, I MADE A MAKEUP TUTORIAL.

That’s some real, tangible karma right there. You’re welcome, everyone.

April 3rd: Chocolate Mousse Day

Ate this delicious chocolate mousse.

April 4th: World Rat Day

Flexed my artistic muscles and got down this masterpiece.

Yes, it doesn’t have ears. But I didn’t have an actual rat in front of me to draw from, ok? That’s a rat drawn 100% from memory. And considering that, it’s pretty good imo.

April 5th: Caramel Day

Ate so much caramel, guys!

That’s just a pic of me with a Tunnock’s Caramel Bar (the best chocolate/biscuit bar??). But I also scoffed down all manner of Twixes and so on. Every day should be caramel day.

April 6th: Plan Your Epitaph Day

Wow, pretty morbid day there. But I was up to the challenge.

RIP FUTURE ME.

April 7th: World Health Day

I did a funny.

I legit had a great time at Rezzed (a sort of indie version of a big video games convention). Check out my pictures here!

April 8th: Draw A Picture Of A Bird Day

Hey, don’t blame me that this week has two animal days in it for some reason! Once again, I reached for the pen and paper…

ANOTHER MASTERPIECE. And no this one doesn’t have ears either because I don’t think birds have ears or maybe they do but they don’t stick out or whatever?

April 9th & 10th: ????

So. This is when I was away. I was in Dublin for a stag do, AKA the least likely place for me to ever be. I had fun though, even if I had to excuse myself from the more excessive parts of it.

And this raises a good point. Am I still obliged to partake in Richard’s 2016 when on trips away? On the one hand, it feels right and fair to give myself something of a holiday when circumstances force it that way. But on the other hand, I did pledge to do something EVERY day. No matter what. Hmm.

Like next week I’m off on a trip to New York. For the whole week. I’ll do my best to do something every day, but it’s not quite the same as being at home where I can just cook up a peanut brittle on a moment’s notice.

For now, I’ll just do my best to either make a token gesture towards the day or somehow retrospectively apply the days to what I was getting on with anyway.

For instance, April 9th was Name Yourself Day. I’m sure that I must have introduced myself to someone at least once with a hearty “Hello, I’m Richard!” AND MAYBE THAT COUNTS? Also, I’ve changed my name on Twitter to cooky mccookface in a desperate grab for followers. I can say that I came up with the idea on the 9th right?

April 10th was sibling day. Although I didn’t actually see or talk to my sister, you can be assured that she was very much IN MY THOUGHTS.

April 11th: Pet Day

I can’t tell which one I think is cuter.

April 12th: Licorice Day

For the record, I hate licorice. It’s really disgusting and basically unnecessary. Which is a shame, as it often ruins nice things. Like Licorice Allsorts. The bits of that which aren’t licorice are actually quite nice Dolly Mixture-style confectionery. But nah licorice ruins it. So here’s me choking down a bag of allsorts.

Turn up the volume for maximum “EUGHH”.

Also, whatever happened to Fruit Allsorts? I mean these things:

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They were pretty much the GOAT sweets. The bits I liked about Licorice Allsorts, but replaced with tasty sweet jellies instead. Why on earth would Bassett’s stop selling them? It’s a mystery. IF YOU FIND ANY PLEASE SEND THEM TO ME TO EAT.

April 13th: Bookmobile Day

I had a good look around, but I couldn’t see any bookmobiles. Do you even still get them?

Not to be put off, I took matters into my own hands and made a BOOK MOBILE.

do you get it because the book is mobile as in like moving haha

April 14th: Dolphin Day

Listened to my favourite dolphin-centred guilty pleasure song.

Yeah it’s kinda cheesy and stuff, but I really like it! Best dolphin song ever I say.

April 15th: DNA Day

I went to the local beer shop hoping to pick up a bottle of Eagle’s DNA (sold in a couple of Cambridge pubs), but they didn’t have any. Curses!

Instead, I just reshared an old piece I’d written on the time I got my genome analysed by science. Give it a read!


As I’ve said, I’m away basically all this week. So I may or may not be able to do these days. But I’ll give them my best.

  • April 16th: Eggs Benedict Day
  • April 17th: Ford Mustang Day
  • April 18th: Columnist’s Day
  • April 19th: Hanging Out Day
  • April 20th: Volunteer Recognition Day
  • April 21st: Bulldogs Are Beautiful Day
  • April 22nd: Jelly Bean Day

Erm, ok. WISH ME LUCK!

Richard’s 2016: Week 13

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

I think this puts me over a quarter of the way through the year. Right? That’s a pretty great achievement, I must say. YOU CAN’T ARGUE WITH RESULTS LIKE THIS. So please stop arguing with me about my results.

Here’s what I’ve been up to.

March 26th: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day

My kind of day! I decided to just have my whole day and then at the end decide what day it was. So I had a normal day.

But at the end of it, I went round a friend’s for a poker night and beat everyone. Hell yeah baby! £100 in ma pocket. So I’m officially decreeing that March 26th is Beat All Your Friends At Poker Day. Hiyoooo!

March 27th: Neighbour Day

It was Easter, and I don’t really like talking to my irl neighbours. So I did a virtual version of this instead.

Yep, the concept of telephone neighbours what I stole from Russell Brand and Matt Morgan. Listen to them talking about it here:

(Around 27m in. It’s pretty funny).

But yeah my telephone neighbour didn’t get back to me. I hope they had a good easter anyway.

March 28th: Black Forest Cake Day

Got myself a whole massive black forest gateau as part of my easter haul.

Wait. Is it ‘gateau’ or ‘gateaux?’. Like what’s the difference?

I guess the ‘x’ one is probably the plural. Yeah that makes sense. So I got myself ONE GATEAU. I have not eaten it though. It’s currently sitting in my fridge.

March 29th: Lemon Chiffon Cake Day

Ugh, TWO cake days in a row. Not good. Also, I have no idea what a lemon chiffon cake is. Googling it just returns loads of cakes that look like this:

img8l

So basically cakes with bloody great wholes in them. I couldn’t find one in Asda, so I just got a Lemon Sponge Cake instead because I think it’s literally the same thing.

March 30th: Manatee Appreciation Day

Speaks for itself really.

Like, who actively unappreciates  manatees? Nobody, that’s who. They’re the beautiful cows of sea. So the idea of having a day specifically to reaffirm our appreciation of them seems a bit redundant to me. But there we go, my love for manatees is now a matter of public record.

March 31st: Eiffel Tower Day

Got creative.

For those of you who don’t parlez français, that translates as “the eiffel tower, that’s wonderful!” or whatever.

I realise that the Eiffel Tower doesn’t actually look much like how I’ve drawn it there. And to the people of Paris I can only apologise. But I did it quite late and without any reference to hand. At the very least I think I captured the spirit of the tower, and didn’t the French like – invent – impressionism? So who are they to judge?

April 1st: International Tuba Day

Lemme just embed that real quick.

I think it’s pretty good! The original plan was to listen to all tuba and only tuba all day. But that gets pretty annoying very quickly. So I just dropped that idea. But I think I got my fair share of tuba.

And that’s it!


Coming up next week:

  • April 2nd: Tangible Karma Day
  • April 3rd: Chocolate Mousse Day
  • April 4th: World Rat Day
  • April 5th: Caramel Day
  • April 6th: Plan Your Epitaph Day
  • April 7th: World Health Day
  • April 8th: Draw A Picture Of A Bird Day

Nice! Well, this all look very doable, for once. CAN’T WAIT TO PLAN THAT EPITAPH LOL.

See ya next week.

Richard’s 2016: Week 12

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Yup, twelve whole weeks! Wow. A LITERAL DOZEN. Not like that weird fakey Baker’s Dozen. Like what the HELL bakers, get in line or get out, that’s what I say!

Anyway, on with it.

March 19th: Poultry Day

I’m sure this day is supposed to be all about supporting poultry or whatever. But, in the spirit of this blog, I made it about EATING STUFF INSTEAD YOLO.

#effort

March 20th: Snowman Burning Day

Almost died for this one.

So yeah I drew a snowman on a post-it and burnt it. IN MY HOUSE OVER MY WOODEN FLOOR WEARING MY CHEAP FLAMMABLE PRIMARK TOUSERS. Pro tip: don’t do any of that.

Thankfully I had a bowl of water on standby and my house didn’t burn down and my fingers were only mildly singed. Yay!

And also, the half-burnt snowman swirling in the bowl at the end is a kind of beautiful metaphor for the end of winter, right? Well, I think it looks cool.

A post shared by Richard Cook (@cookywook) on

March 21st: World Poetry Day

Wrote some poems and stuff and shared them online.

READ THEM HERE. My favourite one is Growl which I even went to the effort of recording once. Listen to it if you are bored or something.

It has been described in the comments as Incredible! Very larkinesque.

March 22nd: Goof Off Day

I work very hard. So I find it difficult to “goof off”. So I just did it at home instead.

Look at that. Has there ever been a man in a clearer state of goofing off? Let’s inventorise:

  • Classic hawaiian ‘party shirt’
  • Glass of plonk on the go
  • 20 – count them, 20 – brownie bites.
  • Double stuff oreo AKA the food of kings AKA the diabetes express AKA the widowmaker AKA my favourite thing to eat and goof off to.

Success!

March 23rd: Melba Toast

I don’t really know what Melba Toast is. I was able to buy some and it seems that it’s basically just small ready-made toast. You’re meant to spread classy stuff on it like paté or fish eggs or whatever. NO SUCH LUCK HERE

OY OYYYY

March 24th: Tuberculosis Day

Short of contacting TB myself, I wasn’t sure what to do. I also have had the BCG jab which is meant to protect against that kind of thing.

So I just sent £10 off to the British Lung Foundation instead. They do good work, and I’d encourage you to consider chucking some wedge at them too.

March 25th: Tolkien Reading Day

Got a free sample of the Fellowship of the Ring off the Kindle store and read it on a train.

It was actually great and reminded me that I’ve never actually finished reading TLoTR. Adding it to my to-read list!

AND THAT’S ALL BABY!!!


Coming up in the next seven days….

  • March 26th: Make Up Your Own Holiday Day
  • March 27th: Neighbour Day
  • March 28th: Black Forest Cake Day
  • March 29th: Lemon Chiffon Cake Day
  • March 30th: Doctors’ Day
  • March 31st: Eiffel Tower Day
  • April 1st: International Tuba Day

Erm…. ok. Well, I’m looking forward to all those CAKE days I’m guessing.

Wish me luck xox