Category Archives: richards2016

Richard’s 2016: Week Three

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Week three. In the words of Jon Hendren: ohh hell yeeeeaaah babyyy… OOHH HELL YEEEEEAAAAAHHH!!!!!!!! OOHHH HELL YYEAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!

It’s been a good one. I’ve come close to failure. To losing steam. To packing it all in and calling it a day (as if ‘calling it a day’ wouldn’t be a great title for this project actually). But I’ve persevered regardless. Anyway, right to it. Here’s how I got on.

January 15th: Strawberry Ice Cream Day

This one was easy. Strawberry ice cream is easy to purchase and consume.

Double cornetto joy.

January 16th: International Hot and Spicy Food Day

Even easier. Hot and spicy foods are easy to purchase and consume.

THREE SPICES. That’s right I can handle the heat.

Maybe I should have tried a bit harder. Maybe I could have actually gone to a genuine Cambridge curry house and tried something I’ve never tried before. But I work hard enough already just to bloody stay alive. So, a ready meal it had to be.

January 17th: Kids Inventors’ Day

Not having kids myself, I found this one a bit tricky. It wasn’t clear what I could do to take part. I considered going up to kids in the street with lots of wires and bolts and demanding they invent something there and then. But obviously that was a terrible idea. So I just watched this Simpsons clip about kids inventing stuff instead.

It’s from the Frank Grimes Simpsons episode, which I happen to have recently written about here.

January 18th: Thesaurus Day

Made the obvious joke.

Ha ha ha.

January 19th: Tin Can Day

GOT THE TINNIES IN LADS!!!!!

They were consumed.

January 20th: Disc Jockey Day

All I could think of for this was a composition I made years and years ago when I thought making music might be something I’d be any good at.

As I listened back to this, I reflected on how close to the sun I had flown here. I wouldn’t call it awful though. Just kinda misguided. (As in, it lacked any guidance or direction whatsoever).

What was annoying on the 20th is that it was Penguin Awareness Day too, and everyone on Twitter was buzzing about it. I didn’t take part. Firstly, I know what a bloody penguin is. Secondly, I HAVE A PLAN AND THE PLAN IS GOOD AND I MUST STICK TO THE PLAN AT ALL COSTS.

January 21st: Granola Bar Day

You’d think this would be easy. So did I. It wasn’t though???

I started off the day with a literal bowl of granola from good ol’ Graze.

I then expected to follow this up with a granola bar at the office. I’m lucky enough to work somewhere that provides snacks like this for us to enjoy. But we were out of granola bars that day. I even raided the stock cupboard in search of an oaty fix. But it was not to be.

I also forgot to buy a granola bar at the shops later.

So I didn’t actually eat a ‘granola bar.’ You wanna call that a failure? Huh? You wanna call ME out? You’ve got some frickin’ nerve and I don’t like your attitude one bit.

BESIDES, I ate enough granola for breakfast for it to count. There was certainly at least one bar’s worth in that bowl. It just so happened to not be in bar form.

And I make the rules so shut up.

January 22nd: Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day

By far the greatest day yet. Just the title alone is spectacular.

think the day is basically supposed to be some kind of ‘pay attention to your cat day.’ Like take some time to see if your cat is happy and comfortable, buy them a new toy or something. But I chose to take it literally.

I have a cat back at proper home. My cat is called Splat. Here is a picture of Splat.

Blue Eyed Cat by Richard Cook

Thankfully, Mother has made a Facebook page for the cat. Add Splat Cook as a Facebook friend today!

Splat had some questions for me.

Screen Shot 2016-01-23 at 13.05.52

And I was more than happy to answer them.

Screen Shot 2016-01-23 at 13.06.29

This is good. Very good. Good job me.


COMING UP IN THE NEXT SEVEN DAYS:

  • January 23rd: Measure Your Feet Day
  • January 24th: Peanut Butter Day
  • January 25th: Opposite Day
  • January 26th: Peanut Brittle Day
  • January 27th: Chocolate Cake Day
  • January 28th: Kazoo Day
  • January 29th: International Fun At Work Day

It’s gonna be great! So see you then.

ps. House power cut update: They’re sending us a new fridge. I hope that fixes it. I really hope that fixes it.

Richard’s 2016: Week Two

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

It’s Week Two, baby! To all you haters out there who said I wouldn’t make it, guess what? I made it! Hahaha. Yup, screw you all the literally zero people who said that. Hahahaha.

Here’s just what the hell I got up to.

January 8th: Show & Tell At Work Day

Easy! I brought my LUCKY COIN into work.

2016-01-08 09.11.29

Except it turns out that lucky coins aren’t very interesting. Good thing then that I happened to be wearing REALLY COOL SHOES. Here’s my showing them to my amazed co-workers!!

What makes my shoes so special you ask? And why are we all wearing white shirts in that video?! Well, the answer to one of those questions is that they’re special Wes Anderson shoes. Here’s a closeup.

View this post on Instagram

ZISSHOES

A post shared by Richard Cook (@cookywook) on

They’re a replica model of the shoes worn by Steve Zissou in The Life Aquatic with Steve Zissou so of course they’re incredible.

Only problem is that they’re a size too small!!! So I didn’t wear them for very long. I’m trying to get a replacement and/or refund because, my friends, these shoes were not cheap.

January 9th: Apricot Day

I’m not a big apricot fan. I don’t think I’ve ever actually sat down and eaten one to be honest. But if this life project is about anything (and I’m not saying it is), it’s about trying new things. So I bought a big bag of dried apricots and munched the hell outta them.

NOTE TO READER: Do not eat lots and lots of apricots if your body is not accustomed to a high-fibre diet.

January 10th: Bittersweet Chocolate Day

I’ve had some criticism that all of these just boil down to me eating things and that this isn’t a hard thing to do at all.

I guess it’s a fair point.

January 11th: Step in a Puddle and Splash your Friends Day

Didn’t eat anything on January 11th! Well, I did eat lots of things. But nothing related to the day itself. No, this challenge required a physical effort on my effort. Physical effort, skill, and cunning:

At the end you can see my slapping Matt there. I wish it had perfectly fit in because it would have been some beautiful comic timing. But Vine is a pain in the arse to work with at the best of times so I had to shoot this whole thing live. I hope you enjoy it.

January 12th: Pharmacist Day

Tough one. Because a pharmacist is technically a person. And I wasn’t able to find one. And I was in meetings and work stuff all day so I couldn’t run out and find any.

I went to the comments on the Pharmacist Day page for ideas. Check out how crazy they are:

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Shoutout to Donald Robert Buetow, aka ‘Don down the street!’

Instead, I did a couple of compromises.

  • I listened to some Ted Leo and the Pharmacists. ‘Me and Mia’ is an incredible song.

  • Tweeted my love for pharmacists to the world:
  • Took a picture with a PHARMACY. Which is good enough for me.
    (“A pharmacist has been here!” I thought to myself.)
  • Enjoyed the Limmy pharmacy bit (via my friend Ed).

All in all, a victory for pharmacists everywhere.

January 13th: Peach Melba Day

A peach melba is a very specific thing. If you don’t know, it’s “a dessert of peaches and raspberry sauce with vanilla ice cream.”

My office doesn’t really have any of those things. And I had no idea where I could get one in Cambridge. So I went for the DIY option:

Here’s the recipe!

Ingredients

1 tin sliced peaches from the Tesco Express
Greek yogurt from the office fridge
Raspberry conserve you found in a cupboard
As much sugar as you can sprinkle on top

Method

Assemble ingredients in a bowl.
Eat.
Try to get past the disgusting taste and texture.
Repent sins.

Eugh. Probably the day I’ve enjoyed the least. Truly disgusting.

January 14th: Hot Pastrami Sandwich Day

I was worrying about how to do this one. But then I heard that by a massive coincidence, a local sicilian cafe would be providing lunch in the office that day. Result! So I chomped down on a plate of this:

2016-01-14 11.42.08

However, I wasn’t 100% sure what I was eating was pastrami. And no way am I gonna let a day pass that I’m not 100% satisfied with (peach melba day aside), so I also went and bought some and had that for dinner!

2016-01-14 19.38.53

Sure, I know that for it to qualify as a true Reuben-style pastrami sandwich, it ought to have been drowning in mustard. But I used sriracha sauce instead, which is basically a more delicious red version of mustard. YAY.


Here’s what’s coming up next week:

  • January 15th – Strawberry Ice Cream Day
  • January 16th International Hot and Spicy Food Day
  • January 17th Kid Inventors’ Day
  • January 18th Thesaurus Day
  • January 19th Tin Can Day
  • January 20th Disc Jockey Day
  • January 21st Granola Bar Day
  • January 22nd Answer Your Cat’s Questions Day

Less food-based ones than usual in there! Particularly looking forward to the 22nd too…

Thanks for reading! See ya next week???

ps. Power situation in my house still not sorted. If anyone from Leaders Cambridge is reading this, please help I am so cold.

My big dumb 2016 life project: Days of the Year

I like the idea of doing life projects. Put simply, they’re when you commit to doing things in your life on a large scale. Classic examples include:

  • Dice Man living his life according to the roll of a die (fictional).
  • Danny Wallace saying yes to everything.
  • Dave Gorman travelling the world according to Googlewhacks.

Wallace and Gorman are the frontrunners in this kind of thing really. There’s also:

  • Danny Wallace travelling the world to start a cult.
  • Dave Gorman challenging the UK to play him at games, which I reviewed here.
  • Danny Wallace AND Dave Gorman travelling the UK to meet people called Dave Gorman.

And most importantly of all, there’s Dave Gorman’s Important Astrology Experiment. I don’t know why more people don’t know about this show. It’s amazing. Dave Gorman lives his life according to his horoscope for 40 days. Taking them literally as possible, he examined whether it made him happier or not. Hilarity ensues.

Here’s the first episode:

So basically I WANNA DO SOMETHING LIKE THIS TOO.

I’ve got ideas. I’m…. funny! I’m excitable!

So here’s the plan: Live my life according to whatever ‘day of the year’ it is that day!

Ever notice how it’s always some ‘international day’ these days? Of course you have! I wrote about it here, remember? There’s so many of these days, in fact, that some days have several ‘days’ associated with them. And each month has about three things associated with it too.

Let’s take January for example, and see how I might live my life around that.

JANUARY 2016 IS: GET ORGANISED MONTH

So yeah, every day in January I’ll do something to organise my life. Sort out my finances, clear my desk. That kinda thing! Woop. Easy peasy. And the days?

Well, JANUARY 1ST IS: COPYRIGHT LAW DAY

Ok, it’s not the most exciting day to kick off with. But it’s established so I’ll do it. The description for it reads as such:

Without copyright law, we’d never stop fighting over who owns what. Celebrate Copyright Law Day and thank the creators of books and movies you love!
So I’ll thank some creators on that day! Hooray. What a way to bring in the new year.
In case you’re wondering, I’m using daysoftheyear.com to manage this. You’ll notice that each day has a couple of entries, so my rule will have to be the one that’s listed first is the one I’ll do. This gives me a WEEK 1 ITINERARY of:
  1. Copyright Law Day
  2. Science Fiction Day
  3. Drinking Straw Day
  4. Hypnotism Day
  5. Bird Day
  6. Three Kings Day
  7. I’m Not Going To Take It Anymore Day

What a week it’ll be.

I’ll hashtag it daily on Twitter with like #RICHARDS2016 or something better. And I’ll do a weekly blog post roundup of my adventures. If I have any.

Yay. This is gonna be so cool!

Please please please please let me get a book deal out of this.