Richard’s 2016: Week Ten

(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Yay, week ten! That’s definitely a milestone right there. Only… 42 more weeks to go?

Like, I’m not saying that I’m running out of steam or anything. But if I was a steam engine, I’d be long overdue for maintenance!! This analogy works if you don’t really think hard about it or even at all, so don’t do that ok thanks.


March 5th: Cheese Doodle Day

It turns out that cheese doodles are just Wotsits! Well, technically there’s a trademarked foodstuff called Cheez Doodles but that’s spelt like totally differently. I think the generic term can refer to any cheese-flavoured puffy crisp. So in America you’d get Cheetos, etc. and over here you have the humble Wotsit.

I hadn’t had a Wotsit for a while before this. It’s a pretty nostalgic crisp for me. So I enjoyed that brief return to youth it instilled in me.

March 6th: Frozen Food Day

This is an interesting one. Like what are you meant to do with the frozen food? Eat it? But any kind of preparation of said frozen food would surely result in its thawing. Thus, something extra needed to be done with the food. Something special.

This isn’t just me balancing a frozen garlic flatbread on my head. I know it looks like it’s just me balancing a frozen garlic flatbread on my head, but it’s a lot deeper than that. Look, I’m not gonna explain all the deep and meaningful symbolism here (that would be an insult to your intelligence), so I’ll just let it speak for itself.

March 7th: Cereal Day

Ate some cereal, didn’t I?!

In this case, a bowl of Chocolate Shreddies. I am a big fan of Shreddies in general. So here is my umprompted list of Shreddies, ranked.

  1. BEST: Frosted Shreddies
  2. Chocolate Shreddies
  3. WORST: Shreddies

Now, don’t be misled. I’m not saying I don’t like normal Shreddies. I really do. They’re just less preferable to me than Frosted or Chocolate Shreddies. (ALSO in at #4 must surely go these ‘Shreddies‘ which describe themselves as  “flatulence filtering underwear”).

Also there apparently exist HONEY SHREDDIES but I have never ever seen this anywhere so I refuse to believe in them.

I’d like to call out the highly effective marketing of Shreddies in the 90s. They featured a anthropomorphised monster embodying hunger in all kinds of situations. Like this, which must surely be the greatest ever televised adaption of Romeo and Juliet:

INSTANT NOSTALGIA. Also the way that Hunger beats the spoons on people’s bellies looks highly satisfying.

March 8th: Proofreading Day

Can’t really prove I did anything for this. But I proofread some stuff throughout the day.

I’m terrible at proofreading though. This blog, for instance, routinely has dozens of mistakes in it. I’m just no good at reading over my own material. So I should really learn how to proofread better.

UPDATE: I also corrected some of my older tweets.

March 9th: Get Over It Day

This is supposed to be a day about getting over heartbreak and stuff or whatever. But that’s BORING. Instead, I did the ol’ cookywook switcheroo and physically got over something. In this case, my stuffed cat Trim.

I’m so clever! Thanks to Trim for going along with this. No stuffed cats were harmed in the making of this Vine.

March 10th: World Kidney Day

I had kidneys.

Ok, let me be the first to call myself out on this. Just ‘having kidneys’ isn’t really enough is it? Most people on the planet ‘have kidneys’ most days of the year. And mere possession alone isn’t the same as celebration.

BUT, I’d like to make a very fine point. We all have kidneys. But we don’t all have what mindfulness experts refer to as a “conscious experience” of having kidneys. It is in the noticing that we have kidneys and acknowledging we have them that we truly appreciate them.

So on this day, I didn’t just have kidneys. I absolutely rocked my kidneys.

I also drank a whole loada water because I think that’s something to do with kidneys.

March 11th: Middle Name Pride Day

There, I said it.

Yeah!!!!!!!! And now, for the next seven days we’ve got…

  • March 12th: Plant a Flower Day
  • March 13th: Ken Day
  • March 14th: International Ask a Question Day
  • March 15th: Buzzards Day
  • March 16th: Freedom of Information Day
  • March 17th: Submarine Day
  • March 18th: Awkward Moments Day


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