{"id":1661,"date":"2019-07-25T18:53:52","date_gmt":"2019-07-25T17:53:52","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/?p=1661"},"modified":"2019-07-26T08:22:38","modified_gmt":"2019-07-26T07:22:38","slug":"virgin-media-support-sent-me-the-weirdest-email-ever","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/virgin-media-support-sent-me-the-weirdest-email-ever\/","title":{"rendered":"Virgin Media support sent me the weirdest email ever"},"content":{"rendered":"\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">So if you follow me on Twitter, you&#8217;ve probably seen that I&#8217;m having a <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/cookywook\/status\/1153671552237539330\">bit of a row<\/a> with Virgin Media at the moment. It&#8217;s separate to the <a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/cookywook\/status\/908663027087675392\">row<\/a> I had with them back in 2017 about something else, but it covers much of the same ground.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Long story short, I&#8217;m moving flat next month and I&#8217;d like to bring Virgin with me.  The tool to check if I can do that doesn&#8217;t seem to be working, so I&#8217;ve been some after some clarity about exactly what the deal is.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">My first point of call was to contact the &#8220;moving team&#8221; who would apparently do a manual check on my behalf. What I got in response is one of the strangest customer service emails I&#8217;ve ever received, and definitely something I think deserves a thorough examination. Because that&#8217;s where I&#8217;m at with my life. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><em>(And maybe we can take away some wider lessons about the importance of clarity in customer service comms while we do it)<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">HERE&#8217;S THE EMAIL<\/p>\n\n\n\n<figure class=\"wp-block-image\"><img data-recalc-dims=\"1\" loading=\"lazy\" decoding=\"async\" width=\"616\" height=\"330\" src=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53-1024x548.png?resize=616%2C330\" alt=\"The email from Virgin Media support\" class=\"wp-image-1663\" srcset=\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53.png?resize=1024%2C548&amp;ssl=1 1024w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53.png?resize=300%2C161&amp;ssl=1 300w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53.png?resize=768%2C411&amp;ssl=1 768w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53.png?w=1232&amp;ssl=1 1232w, https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/wp-content\/uploads\/2019\/07\/Screenshot-2019-07-25-at-14.41.53.png?w=1848&amp;ssl=1 1848w\" sizes=\"auto, (max-width: 616px) 100vw, 616px\" \/><\/figure>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">I&#8217;ve blurred out the name because I don&#8217;t want to blame the agent here. Although if this agent isn&#8217;t constantly screaming &#8220;WHY DO WE DO THINGS THIS WAY, WHY OH GOD WHY&#8221; then frankly I&#8217;m a little concerned. But no, this clearly stems from broken processes and systems. No good system should let this happen.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Let&#8217;s start at the top then! What makes a good subject line? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>Something that makes me want to read the email<\/li><li>Something that gives an indication of where the email is from<\/li><li>Perhaps a summary of the topic<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Basically getting right to it. A good subject line here might be &#8220;Sorry, we can&#8217;t come with you for your move!&#8221; or &#8220;It doesn&#8217;t look like you can get Virgin Media just yet&#8221;.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Instead, Virgin Media have gone with an email that has apparently been <strong>forwarded twice<\/strong> already. And is all in capital letters. And tells me nothing about what the email says (can I get VM or not?)<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It also uses the word &#8220;SERVICIABILITY&#8221; which is:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<ul class=\"wp-block-list\"><li>The least friendly word they could have picked <\/li><li>Not a word<\/li><\/ul>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Did they mean <em>serviceability<\/em>? Why say that anyway? Even &#8220;availability&#8221; would be better &#8211; I know what that word means. And it&#8217;s a word.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We then have <strong>8 line breaks<\/strong>. I don&#8217;t know why. To leave me in suspense? What email tool could they be using for this? <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Note: this came from an individual&#8217;s Virgin Media address too,  so it&#8217;s possible they just did this all themselves. But this seems like a pretty standard email to send out. Surely they can have templates. At the very least templates that don&#8217;t begin with 8 line breaks.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We then get &#8220;Hi,&#8221; in tiny blue font. No name or anything. Just hi. Then another <strong>7 line breaks<\/strong>. We&#8217;re 16 lines in and I don&#8217;t know anything.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">The email then continues in a completely different font and colour. I kind of liked the blue! But mixing it up is fine too, I suppose. Keeps it interesting.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">&#8220;Sorry, your home isn&#8217;t in a Virgin Media area&#8221;. There&#8217;s the subject line! Buried like thirty lines deep. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">(Note that they&#8217;ve said &#8220;We checked your post code&#8221; twice now. In two different ways. I don&#8217;t know why).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Next up: &#8220;Here&#8217;s the good news&#8221; followed by &#8220;Hang tight \u2013 we&#8217;re redirecting you!&#8221;. No clue what&#8217;s happening at this point in the email. The use of headers is a bit bewildering. At least they&#8217;ve <em>tried<\/em> to use some kind of structure, but it&#8217;s just made everything super confusing. But what follows is even worse.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">An <strong>entire sentence<\/strong> is repeated. &#8220;You can still get a great broadband, TV and phone package&#8221; &#8211; just there&#8230; twice! Once mentioning USwitch (last mention of USwitch in the entire email, by the way) and once without. The &#8220;button&#8221; that apparently leads to USwitch is nowhere to be seen, and the email instantly veers to talking about Simplifydigital instead.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">A highlight in the next bit is &#8220;click the link below&#8221; where &#8220;link below&#8221; is in blue, but not a link. It&#8217;s like they&#8217;ve seen links before in other places and know they&#8217;re usually blue. But they don&#8217;t know how to actually make links so they&#8217;ve just added one underneath instead. Baffling.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Another <strong>10 line breaks<\/strong> and we get the sign-off (not in the screenshot).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Wow. Needless to say this email left me very confused. I wasn&#8217;t even sure it was legit. I tried asking Virgin Media and they didn&#8217;t seem sure, especially since they&#8217;re obsessed with telling me that they (the internet company Virgin Media) &#8220;<a href=\"https:\/\/twitter.com\/virginmedia\/status\/1153670873133527040\">don&#8217;t use email<\/a>&#8220;).<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">It&#8217;s not just disappointing, it&#8217;s shockingly bad. And it makes such a poor customer experience. I have no confidence in the answer I got, I definitely don&#8217;t feel like I&#8217;m cared about as a customer, and it really damages the brand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h4 class=\"wp-block-heading\">What could the email look like instead?<\/h4>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Well, firstly I&#8217;d have it properly branded. Coming from an &#8220;help@virginmedia.com&#8221; email address or something. And using a consistent font size and colour. It could look like this:<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>Sorry, your home isn&#8217;t in a Virgin Media area<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Hi Richard,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Thanks for asking us to check if you can get Virgin Media at your new place.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We&#8217;re sorry to say that we haven&#8217;t connected your new address to our network just yet. We&#8217;d absolutely love to soon though, and we&#8217;re connecting new homes as quickly as we can.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">We&#8217;ll be sorry to lose you though. You can visit our friends at USwitch <strong>here<\/strong> to see which other companies have got you covered instead. <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">When we get to your area, we&#8217;ll drop you another email to let you know. We&#8217;ll even throw in a \u00a350 welcome back bonus if you come back.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Until then, thanks again for our time together. It&#8217;s been great having you with us.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Love, <\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\">Team Virgin<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><\/p>\n\n\n\n<p class=\"wp-block-paragraph\"><strong>So yeah basically something like that. Maybe with some more line breaks in it.<\/strong><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Breaking down a very strange email from Virgin Media support<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":1665,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[1],"tags":[],"class_list":{"0":"post-1661","1":"post","2":"type-post","3":"status-publish","4":"format-standard","5":"has-post-thumbnail","6":"hentry","7":"category-uncategorized","9":"fallback-thumbnail"},"yoast_head":"<!-- This site is optimized with the Yoast SEO plugin v27.3 - https:\/\/yoast.com\/product\/yoast-seo-wordpress\/ -->\n<title>Virgin Media support sent me the weirdest email ever<\/title>\n<meta name=\"description\" content=\"Virgin Media support sent me a very strange email. 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