{"id":2122,"date":"2020-11-28T09:52:50","date_gmt":"2020-11-28T09:52:50","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/?p=2122"},"modified":"2020-11-28T09:52:52","modified_gmt":"2020-11-28T09:52:52","slug":"facebook-marketplace-is-full-of-terrifying-haunted-items","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/facebook-marketplace-is-full-of-terrifying-haunted-items\/","title":{"rendered":"Facebook Marketplace is full of terrifying haunted items"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

Earlier this year, I wrote about the hellscape that is Facebook Marketplace<\/a>. And that is still very true. But I also discovered some listings that worried me. <\/p>\n\n\n\n

In particular, this ugly bloody doll<\/strong>…<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

…and this free 40s haunted wardrobe.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"A<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

I took a note to come back to return to this topic for further investigation later. And having done some further digging, I’m sorry to report the following: yep, Facebook Marketplace is haunted as hell.<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

Let us experience the haunted items together.<\/h3>\n\n\n\n
  1. Ghost in a jar<\/strong><\/li><\/ol>\n\n\n\n
    \"Listing<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Ok, this one might be a joke listing. But if there’s even a 1% chance that this is a genuine ghost in a jar, we must act as if it is 100% certain. The listing explains more about the provenance of said jar ghost:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I managed to trap a ghost while on a paranormal investigation and it\u2019s still in the jar . I rang most haunted and they told me this is very rare !!! I\u2019m after \u00a3100,000 . You will not find a ghost in a jar cheaper as it\u2019s so rare. The ghost will not escape.<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Well, I’m very relieved that it’s properly contained. However, I am disappointed at the apparent bait-and-switch of the FREE offering turning out to be a one hundred thousand pound down payment. I think I’ll pass.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    2. Haunted vampire teeth<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    You’re probably thinking the same thing as me here. Are these haunted teeth ispo facto or are they the teeth of a vampire, who himself is\/was haunted? I suppose it makes no difference in the end. And we shouldn’t overlook the fact that apparently, vampires ARE real and prone to losing teeth\u2014a terrifying prospect.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Confusingly, the details on the offer claim that the teeth are BRAND NEW. Are these a recent dental extraction then? It seems weird to package them up with a spooky olde-timey note if they only got pulled last week. Did this surgery happen under COVID-secure conditions? In this climate, you can’t be too safe.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    3. Various haunted rings<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    I’ve found multiple listings of supposedly haunted rings. Well, they’re actually all from the same seller, but they’re up for different prices and contain varying amounts of information. Like how the \u00a3150 is haunted by specifically a djinn<\/em> (an Arabic spirit, aka genie<\/em>) whereas the others aren’t specified at all. Let’s dig a bit deeper:<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    In bracknell
    Nearly new
    But also haunted<\/em><\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Wow. Move over ALL POETS OF ALL TIME because I think we’ve just found the greatest piece of verse of all time. It’s not quite a haiku, but it’s hauntingly beautiful (pun SPOOKILY intended!). In bracknell \/ Nearly new \/ But also haunted.<\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    4. Haunted dolls<\/strong><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    \"\"<\/a><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

    Erm. Do you want to get The Conjuring Universe: Annabelle Creation<\/em>? Because this is how you get The Conjuring Universe: Annabelle Creation<\/em>.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Here is the description for the above haunted doll that is also apparently some kind of nun.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Haunted doll.has two crosses that are damaged. And sometimes has a high electoral magnetic field.<\/strong><\/em><\/p>\n\n\n\n

    Jesus Christ. I don’t know what an ‘electoral magnetic field’ is, but it sounds much worse than an electrical one. Stay away, imo.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

    I should give a shout-out here to the regular Haunted Doll Watch <\/em>segment on the My Brother, My Brother, and Me<\/em> podcast. They cover this exact subject (and this entire blog post is ripping off, tbf).<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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