{"id":903,"date":"2017-05-07T09:39:06","date_gmt":"2017-05-07T08:39:06","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/?p=903"},"modified":"2017-05-07T09:39:06","modified_gmt":"2017-05-07T08:39:06","slug":"brand-is-the-epitome-of-terrible-twitter-accounts","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/cookywook.co.uk\/blog\/brand-is-the-epitome-of-terrible-twitter-accounts\/","title":{"rendered":"@Brand is the epitome of terrible Twitter accounts"},"content":{"rendered":"

What’s the worst thing you can think of? No, worse than that.\u00a0No, worse than\u00a0that<\/em>.<\/p>\n

Ok, now imagine something a thousand times worse. Now multiply that by a billion. Now imagine that thing was even worse somehow. Imagine it transcending human intelligence, becoming something so awful that the human mind is unable to comprehend it. That our mortal standards of good and evil no longer apply. That to try and understand even a fraction of it would be to invite insanity.<\/p>\n

Congratulations, you are now picturing this Twitter account.<\/p>\n

\"\"<\/a><\/p>\n

We all know brands on Twitter can be awful. I do my own part in contributing to this with the work I do for a certain online brand. But I try to remain at most ineffectual, rather than outright evil.<\/p>\n

What we have here, on @Brand<\/a>\u00a0is somehow a condensed form of everything bad on Twitter. If self-proclaimed ‘entrepreneurs’ are the crack cocaine of Twitter, and branded content is meth, whilst people who post motivational quotes over sunsets are like MDMA or something – then @Brand is pure, uncut, mainlined heroine. It’s pure awful.<\/p>\n

I think what I hate most is that it’s not striving towards anything. What’s the point of it? To sort of discuss the concept of ‘brand’ in some kind of open and undirected way? It doesn’t seem to be doing that. Here’s the bio:<\/p>\n

We want to share the life of a brand, the wins & losses. Each brand is different but we can all benefit from their individual experiences. via @johnrampton<\/p><\/blockquote>\n

Let’s go through this.<\/p>\n

“We want to share the life of a brand”<\/em> – literally nobody wants this. Unless they mean specifically “we people who are running this account”.
\n“Each brand is different”<\/em> – I guess… but that doesn’t really mean anything
\n“We can all benefit from their individual experiences”<\/em> – What? How? Are brands individuals now? What the hell?<\/p>\n

So yeah, that bio isn’t a great start. I think it might actually be pure nonsense. It reads like some deep mission statement, but there’s nothing of content in it whatsoever. So, what kind of content can we expect from @Brand?<\/p>\n

Here’s their latest tweet at time of writing:<\/p>\n

\n

pic.twitter.com\/f8Ypk2E3AP<\/a><\/p>\n

— Brand (@Brand) May 7, 2017<\/a><\/p><\/blockquote>\n