(Read up on what #Richards2016 is all about here.)

Hello friends. Thanks for joining me on another week of this ridiculous life project I insist on putting myself through. I hope at least one of us is enjoying it.

Right then, let’s get to it.

February 27th: Kahlua Day

love Kahlua, so this was easy. A while back I even bought a little White Russian Kit that included a glass, a milk bottle, some vodka, and kahlua. It’s the cutest little thing.

So this meant I was well equipped for a delicious Kahlua Day.

Dunno why I’m pulling that face to be honest. Kahlua is smooth and delicious.

(KAHLUA, IF YOU’RE READING THIS CAN I HAVE SOME FREE KAHLUA IS BASICALLY WHAT I’M TRYING TO SAY).

February 28th: Tooth Fairy Day

There is no tooth fairy. Therefore this day does not exist.

Call me a copout all you want, but what am I seriously gonna do for ‘tooth fairy’ day? Steal some child’s teeth and take them for my own? To then exchange for money under my pillow? Do you have any idea how CRAZY that sounds? Get a clue, Buster!

Anyway, my logic is sound. I can’t do a day that refers to a non-existent object. And I know this logic is sound because…..

February 29th: Bachelor’s Day

Awwww yeahhh, it’s my literal degree in philosophy. It was shoved down the back of my wardrobe under a load of hoodies, but I managed to find it! PRO LIFE TIP: no employer ever asks to see your degrees. So just go ahead and make up whatever you want and save yourself the £20k debt I’m now in.

And I know that Bachelor’s Day is probably meant to be about being a massive unmarried lad. But I am about the least laddish person in the known universe. I think I was born with an allergy to laddism or something. Thankfully, there is no cure.

I’m also not technically a Bachelor of Arts anymore. I got a Masters last year, but it was just a free upgrade from uni for doing absolutely nothing for a couple of years. I’m honestly surprised they’re allowed to do it. But yup, it’s a real thing. Sorry everyone who did all the work on a real Masters, I’m just as qualified as you apparently!!!

March 1st: World Compliment Day

This is one I mostly took offline. I went around giving everyone lots of lovely compliments. Of course, this comes easily to me as I’m SUCH A NICE GUY ALL THE TIME. But I put a few out on Twitter too.

D’awww.

March 2nd: Banana Cream Pie Day

Once again Cambridge fails to deliver on delicious deserts. So I had to improvise.

2016-03-02 21.17.552016-03-02 21.18.05

To make Richard’s Banana Cream Pie:

Ingredients:

  • Co-op foamy bananas
  • Co-op squirty cream

Recipe:

  1. Sandwich bananas together with the squirty cream.
  2. Eat

I wish I could say this was delicious, I really really do.

March 3rd: Mulled Wine Day

Why exactly is Mulled Wine Day in March? Mulled wine is a wintery drink. It has no place in the early days of spring. And so of course you can’t buy it anywhere. But as always, I IMPROVISED:

Yes, Sangria, AKA Spanish mulled wine served cold. I even shoved a slice of orange in there to make it proper authentic.

You say it’s not mulled wine? I say I just invented a whole new genre of it, mate.

March 4th: Day of Unplugging

I suppose this is meant to be about switching off, letting go of your devices, not habitually checking social media all day long. But I can’t do that. Firstly, I’m legit addicted to it. Secondly, my job depends on me knowing what’s happening on social media all the time. So I’m not doing that.

I just unplugged a kettle instead.

I hope that’s understandable? Rewatching, my accent is a disgrace. I’m saying “gonna unplug this kettle, ain’t I?” followed by “oy oyyyyy!!!”. I attended the Danny Dyer School of Talking Proper English Innit.


That’s it, baby!

  • March 5th: Cheese Doodle Day
  • March 6th: Frozen Food Day
  • March 7th: Cereal Day
  • March 8th: Proofreading Day
  • March 9th: Get Over It Day
  • March 10th: World Kidney Day
  • March 11th: Oatmeal Nut Waffles Day

Ok, four food ones there. That might just be some kinda record!

Anyway, it’ll be fun. I hope. THANKS GUYSZZ.

ps. There is no ps this week.